How I got here
I first started using a computer when I was probably in my early teens. Back then it was the house's computer rather than a personal machine.
I had a pre-digital childhood and grew up somewhere fairly remote, socially at least. This was cool, and I'm very grateful for it. But it meant that getting online was pretty exciting as I could interact with a lot more people and explore all sorts of new information. iirc I didn't really get regular access to a computer in a way where I could use it unsupervised until my mid/late-teens.
This was a pretty amazing time, discovering new music, books, videos, sub-cultures, communities, etc. Looking back, this period now seems so simple. Sure there were pressures, but they were coming from each other rather than being imposed from elsewhere, if that makes sense.
When I was a bit older, got my own computer, and started to get more curious and brave, the parts of the internet I increasingly spent time on got a bit more intense. Intense in a bunch ways, some awesome, some less so. But it still felt human, albeit rougher. Most of the interactions felt like they were happening because of the users, any efforts by platforms to keep engagement ticking over were either subtle or basic.
I don't want to, and probably couldn't, put my finger on when the whole thing changed. But there was definitely a point when it all got different. Writing this makes it sound obvious, and it is, but its important. Everything got shinier, slicker, way more sophisticated, and way harder to step away from. Getting a smart phone was something I resisted for a pretty long time. I was fairly late to the game, but that was something that coincided with this shift.
Consuming online content felt less and less like something I was doing of my own free will. Even when it was, what I consumed became less and less what I wanted to see and more what something wanted to show me. It all just got so tiring. It felt out of my control.
This ended up being longer than I planned. So I'll wrap it up and I think I'll write about some of the routes I've taken in the past. These were mostly attempts to manage my exposure to things that felt like they were removing a degree of agency I was beginning to value. This has now evolved to include rediscovering a more human internet.
I want a simpler online experience that feels like people connecting to people again, for them by them. For now Bear, along with some other places I've recently come across, seem like a nice step in a good direction.